The time has come once again for the world’s deadliest martial artist, Master Ken, to put aside his regularly scheduled ritual slaughter of his enemies and take some questions from the legions of martial arts enthusiasts around the world who hang on his every word. It would behoove all of us to send our thanks and appreciation to Master Ken for his time today, as this particular video was made while he and his students were participating in the International Full-Contact Hurticane Tournament, and therefore required him to step away from the rigorous training regimen necessary to ensure his survival and inevitable victory. For safety reasons, we at KFK cannot actually disclose where the Hurticane competition is being held, but past tournaments have been known to be held inside abandoned auto assembly lines in Detroit in the interest of minimizing property damage, and one such competition even took place in one of the Great Lakes of Michigan in order to allow the participants to create more naturalistic Hurticanes.
Beginning his martial arts training mere moments after his own birth, Master Ken has devoted his life to the perfection of every form of combat in the world. However, he soon came to realize that each and every one of them is completely asinine and useless, but rather than let that get him down, he began to chip away at the weakness inherent in each while retaining their respective strengths, and eventually, the indestructible art of Ameri-Do-Te was born. This approach to the art of fighting is also the origin of the catchphrase recited by Ameri-Do-Te practitioners the world over, “Best of All, Worst of None”. Like anyone not well-versed in the intricacies of Ameri-Do-Te, the questions today have been sent in by well-meaning but thoroughly naive martial arts practitioners who don’t know any better, but are at least willing to admit that. The question all of us must ask ourselves when confronted with the boundless wisdom of Master Ken is, am I?
