Plane crashes. Solar eclipses. Sightings of the Lochness Monster. What do these events have in common? All of them occur, both collectively and individually,with far greater frequency than the issue of an apology from the world’s deadliest martial artist and only 11th degree black belt, Master Ken. Of course, that is only to be expected. Master Ken’s fighting skill has been the subject of legend ever since his birth, where he delivered a powerful knock out punch to the doctor tasked with his delivery after this so-called “obstetrician” spanked the newborn Master Ken and cut his umbilical cord. Since then, Master Ken has dedicated his life to perfecting every martial art ever created, only to discover that each and every one of them is utter nonsense. However, he would ultimately solve this dilemma by siphoning out the weakness of every martial art whilst retaining their respective strengths, and thus the street lethal, completely undefeatable martial art of Ameri-Do-Te was born. This eclectic approach to combat is also the origin of the saying popular among Ameri-Do-Te students, “Best of All, Worst of None”.
The controversy in question stems from a public service announcement Master Ken had taken part in, which warns of the dangerous side effects of practicing Ninjutsu. Unfortunately, this didn’t sit well with YouTube user “Ask A Ninja”, who as the most respected and feared member of the Ninjutsu community, rebutted Master Ken’s criticisms of Ninjutsu with the counter-argument that the Ameri-Do-Te founder is himself afflicted with a condition known as “STD”, and had created his combat art to specifically cater towards people also afflicted with this non-life threatening illness.
With his honor seemingly besmirched by the ignorance of Ask A Ninja, Master Ken could have simply filmed himself performing a Kill Face and sent it to his inbox, an underhanded methodology of assassination worthy of a practitioner of the dark art of Ninjutsu. However, owing to the wisdom that comes with being the greatest martial artist to ever walk the Earth, Master Ken has taken the high road and chosen to respond with grace and, much more importantly, issuing the only confirmed apology of his entire life. Consider yourself lucky, Ask A Ninja, if that IS your real name! Master Ken could have destroyed your argument like a Class Five Hurticane in the Louvre, but he has chosen to swallow his pride for your sake. We certainly hope you will take as a lesson learned!